OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH

Looking back, I noticed I did not give the Freestyle W a great rating, but that is no reason to write off a manufacturer completely. When Good Vibrations offered me the opportunity to review the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH, I figured it was the perfect opportunity to give OhMiBod another shot.

Part of what makes the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH stand out is that it’s a wearable vibrator. Yes, I know this isn’t the first wearable vibrator to hit the scene. I once owned one of the old school Venus Butterfly. Fortunately, we’ve come a long way since then and the Club Vibe 2.OH is an example of this progress.

Unlike the wearable vibrators that require straps, look, and sound like you’ve got an alien between your legs if you actually put clothing on, the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH is a small, discreet vibrator, controlled wirelessly via remote.

I am attracted to clever designs so I was pleased when I first the removed the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH from the box. The vibrator and remote control fit together, the remote on top of the vibrator, like an elongated egg. This means they are more or less the same size at 3.75″ long, 1.75″ wide, and .5″ thick.

Though it’s probably obvious, the vibrator is the portion that is pink on top, with the protruding bump. This bump juts out approximately .25″. The on/off switch is on its underside and needs to be pressed and held for 2-3 seconds to power the vibrator on and off. After 30 minutes of inactivity, the vibrator will automatically shut down.

On the end of the Club Vibe 2.OH closest to the power button is the charging port, which is covered by a snuggly fitting plug that is easily removed. Just gently pull the small black tab on its right (when looking at the vibrator pink side up). OhMiBod has thoughtfully made sure this plug remains attached and does not completely come off, which would almost guarantee I’d eventually lose it. Thanks for that, OhMiBod!

The OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH’s remote control has a sleek design and is simple to use. I think it’s on the gigantic side to carry in a pocket, but I know people who can practically stuff an iPad in their jeans pocket and you would never notice it. Of course, they never have room for my lipstick.

For those of us who do not have magical pockets, there is a black cord attached to the Club Vibe 2.OH remote with a small clip on its end. The cord itself feels like a soft plastic material, as opposed to some sort of fabric-y type of rope, and seems very sturdy.

The remote control has three clearly marked buttons and a semi-circle of five LED lights. The on/off button needs only to be pressed briefly to turn it off. There is none of this pressing and holding business you’ve got to do with the vibrator portion of the Club Vibe 2.OH.

The OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH has two functions, Club Mode and Manual Mode. The middle button, marked with a speaker icon, activates and controls Club Mode, which is the most exciting feature of this toy. Above the Club Mode button is one with markings that look a bit like two little skyscrapers. It manages Manual Mode.

Let’s discuss the two modes. Manual Mode is nothing out of the ordinary. It has five pre-programmed settings, which are as follows:
1. Low steady vibration
2. Medium steady vibration
3. High steady vibration
4. Fast pulse
5. Slower pulse

When in this mode, the LED lights on the front of the remote glow blue. You turn Manual Mode on and cycle through its five settings by pressing the top button. It shuts off when either one of the other buttons is pressed.

Once in Club Mode, the microphone in the base of the remote will pick up ambient noise, which causes the vibrator portion to react. In theory, the vibrator should respond to anything loud enough for the microphone to detect, be it voices, music, a movie, etc. Keep in mind the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH does not work with an iPod/iPhone like the OhMiBod musical vibrators, therefore you do NOT need to purchase the OhMiBod app.

The microphone has five levels of sensitivity that are controlled with the Club Mode button. In this mode, the LED lights glow purple. The more glowing lights, the more sensitive the microphone will be and the more the vibrator should react. OhMiBod provides the necessary battery for the remote, a practice of which I highly approve.

The OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH is made of ABS with a body-safe PU coating that adds a soft, almost silky feel. PU, or polyurethane, is chemically inert, which makes it a non-reactive substance. It is commonly used in the production of plastic sex toys.

This coating, as well as ABS itself, is easily cleaned with mild (NOT antibacterial) soap and water. You can also use a sex toy cleaner. Though some people use rubbing alcohol on plastic, it’s not one of my preferred methods of cleansing. It is very caustic and can cause a negative reaction in delicate membranes. If you choose to use it, be sure you wash with water afterward to ensure there is none left on the vibrator.

One advantage of ABS is that it can be used with both water and silicone-based lubes. While I recommend lube with most sex toys, I’m not sure it’s necessary or particularly helpful with the Club Vibe 2.OH. As you’ll see in the images, once placed inside the thong’s secret pocket (more on this to come) very little of the vibrator is actually exposed. I don’t bother with lube, but know that if you want to, you can use any type.

The OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH is splash proof, not waterproof, so use caution when washing. Do not submerge it and be sure the charging port cover is firmly secured. For some additional visuals of the Club Vibe 2.OH, watch the video below.

By now you have realized the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH is rechargeable. Like many newer vibrators, it does not come with an AC power adapter, but a USB cable only. I have been a big supporter of USB chargeability (totally a word) since my first experience with a USB rechargeable sex toy, the Mystic Mini Massager, so I am pleased to see OhMiBod has switched over.

Though I am including the lack of an AC adapter on my list of OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH Cons, I don’t think it’s that big of a deal anymore. I assume (perhaps incorrectly) that most people who are likely to purchase this particular sex toy have some sort of smartphone, tablet, or e-reader. Most of these devices come with USB AC adapters, but if you don’t have one they are quite easy to find.

A full charge takes about 2-3 hours and the purple LED light behind the power button flashes rapidly when the Club Vibe 2.OH is plugged in properly. Be prepared to set a timer because this light does not stop flashing when charging is complete.

According to OhMiBod, you will have up to four hours of use on a full charge. I charged my Club Vibe 2.OH on my computer, while working, and noticed something that very pleasing. This vibrator does not heat up or get warm while charging. My laptop is getting up there in years (bless its little heart…er, motherboard) and tends to run hot. I really dislike having things that give off heat that close to it.

The OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH comes with a black lace thong with a secret pocket (previously mentioned) in the gusset, which is where you stash the vibrator while wearing it. The material of this pocket is super stretchy, which is a good thing because sliding the vibrator into the pocket takes real effort, but it is then held firmly in place.

Remember, you’ve got to turn the vibrator on before popping it into the pocket. If you happen to forget (like maybe I did), the button is easily reachable so you can press it without having to remove the vibrator. Hold the button down for 3-4 seconds until it starts flashing, indicating it is ready to go.

I call this next section the “Great Underwear Comparison of 2013″, so if you have no interest in knowing how the OhMiBod thong stacks up in size next Victoria’s Secret undies, feel free to skip ahead.

I examined the OhMiBod thong alongside several styles of Victoria’s Secret undies, including both VS and Pink cheekies/cheeksters and thongs, all in size large. Based on this comparison, I would categorize the OhMiBod thong as a smallish medium. Obviously I’m not positive, but the differences between the large VS/Pink undies and the OhMiBod thong were significant. Aside from fit issues, the OhMiBod thong appears to be well-made.

There is something about the OhMiBod thong that I don’t understand. It has the special pocket in the center of the gusset where you put the Club Vibe 2.OH, but what’s up with the little pockets on each side of that one? Are they just they’re extra space or are you meant to put something else in them? Spare change, perhaps?

When I first took the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH out of the box, I thought there was no way it would be comfortable to wear. It’s made of hard, unforgiving plastic and just looked so wide. Turns out, it’s surprisingly comfy and barely noticeable.

The thong on the other hand, not so much. I would change its category from One Size Fits Most (OSFM) to One Size Fits Some. Unfortunate as it may be for health issues in this country, the reality is that approximately 1/3 of the U.S. population is on the larger side.

This is not a judgement on my part, simply a comment on the need for manufacturers of many products, not just sex toys and lingerie, to take this into account during the design process. I would suggest OhMiBod consider offering more than one size of thong with the Club Vibe 2.OH. Perhaps just have two or three separate packages with different sizes.

Speaking of revamps, what’s even more disappointing than the fit of the thong is the interaction between the remote and the vibrator. The remote is meant to control the Club Vibe 2.OH from up to 20′ away. Maybe my unit is defective, but it doesn’t even come close.

After having issues, I tested the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH while working on the computer with music playing on iTunes (which I totally thought would work). Even with the sensitivity level set at five (the highest), if the remote was not right next to the computer, it did not pick up enough noise to cause the vibrator to react. Just moving the remote an arm’s length away immediately killed the vibrations.

The type of music played did make a significant difference. Aerosmith and Metallica created a much stronger reaction than ABBA (don’t judge me) at the same level of loudness. Forget slower music without bass completely.

Though the vibrations are definitely quiet enough to wear the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH out in public, I am beyond disappointed in their lack of strength. I have yet to come close to having an orgasm wearing the Club Vibe 2.OH. In fact, half the time I don’t even get turned on enough to want to finish myself off with another vibrator. In addition, the vibrations are very lightweight and buzzy, especially on the highest manual setting. So much so, they are on the verge of being annoying, if not downright painful.

Wearing the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH with other underwear is doable, but without that special pocket in the OhMiBod thong, I feel like I have to keep adjusting myself. Sure, this is less the case when wearing clothing that is super tight in the crotch, but other than tights, that’s not a great idea for multiple reasons.

I know I have readers even geekier than me, so I thought I’d mention that the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH’s wireless remote operates on the 433.92 MHz frequency. Turns out a number of wireless products use the same frequency, such as baby monitors, wireless doorbells (???), remote-controlled ceiling fans, and garage door remotes. Who knew? It is my understanding that wireless broadband and cordless phones are on a different frequency, so it’s not very likely your wifi will interfere with your vibrator.

Though the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH’s packaging is not necessarily discreet, the box is very sturdy and good for storing other stuff. There are images and some basic information on the sides and back of the box. Inside is a plastic tray that nicely organizes the included components, the Club Vibe 2.OH with remote, battery, USB cable, and lace thong in a black, stretchy privacy pouch.

When you first open the box, laying on top of everything is what looks like a very extensive user manual. It’s actually the number of languages it contains that makes it look so intimidating. The directions are simple and clear, with several helpful images. Though the lace thong comes in the privacy pouch, the Club Vibe 2.OH also fits, which is where you are meant to store it in between uses.

Other than four DO NOTs related to batteries that anyone with half a brain and some common sense already knows, there are exactly four warnings, or as OhMiBod calls them, “Important Safeguards”. All four warnings are also commonsensical, especially once you understand the vibrator portion is splash proof, not waterproof. Way to go, OhMiBod!

OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH Pros:
• Body-safe material
• Both sound responsive and pre-programmed modes
• Wireless remote control
• Lace thong with special pocket included
• Super lightweight and easy to use remote
• Charging port cover always attached
• Remote battery included
• Privacy pouch included
• Appropriately informative user manual
• Does not heat up when charging
• No need to purchase app

OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH Cons:
• Weak, buzzy vibrations
• Lack of communication between vibrator and remote
• Thong will not fit many people
• No notification charging is complete
• No AC power adaptor

On paper, the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH looks good and I had such high hopes, but they were cruelly dashed once I started testing. I think it must be much like running out to the tree on Christmas morning and finding only a lump of coal in your stocking. Not that I’d know, being a Jew and all. Why give coal, a symbolic representation of misbehavior that you forget about the moment you toss it, when you can pile on the guilt, the gift that keeps on giving?

If you’re ok with weak, buzzy vibrations and get off easily, the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH might do it for you. If you’re ok with weak, buzzy vibrations and don’t get off easily, it still might make for a great night out, with your partner teasing you until you can no longer bear it and end up having sex up against a wall, outside a club, in public. (Don’t call me if you get arrested.)

However, if you don’t fall into either category, I cannot imagine being at all happy with the OhMiBod Club Vibe 2.OH. Though its pros significantly outweigh its cons, the weak and buzzy vibrations, as well as the inability of the vibrator to respond if the remote is more than a few feet away, are the kiss of death. It’s truly a shame because I love the concept behind this product, but it fails in the execution.

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